Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Regarding Lorenzo's on South Street

If you're a Philadelphian, there are a few things you are expected to love. Ben Franklin, cheesesteaks, Yuengling Lager, Tastykakes, Eagles football/Phillies baseball...the list goes on. Somewhere on that list is Lorenzo's Pizza on South Street. Well I'm here to tell you the truth, my friends.

I hate Lorenzo's Pizza.

First of all, they sell only cheese pizza by the slice. They have large signs telling you NO TOPPINGS. They also have large signs telling you that you cannot get a box for your absurdly gigantic slice of pizza. You know what Lorenzo's is full of? Jerks.

But the real reason I hate Lorenzo's is the sauce. It's just too sweet. I do not like a sweet sauce and because of that I scrunch my face up at the mere thought of Lorenzo's. And yet the line stretches out the door and down the street every day. I don't get it. Can somebody explain to me why so many people love sweet sauce pizza made by jerks?

Lorenzo and Son
305 South Street
Philadelphia, PA


  1. ....because they've never had Bruno's....

  2. Wait, what? No toppings?? That's absurd...am I allowed to swear here because that's f^*%ing ridiculous?!?